I’ve been wanting to share my story with the world for a while now, but have always had my reservations about doing so. I was afraid of telling my truths because it exposes my vulnerabilities, struggles and failures. Also, reflecting over this particular period in life is painful to me; they are a collection of distant memories that I wish to forget. But the truth is that of course they are apart of me and are part of the reason I am who I am today… and, I like myself today!
In brief, I don’t talk about my weight loss surgery because it’s a procedure I decided to have a decade ago, when I was at my rock bottom. I had serious underlying issues, suffered from depression, and abused food to cope. As a result, my weight got out of control and I felt helpless. I tried losing weight with all of the diets, pills, and tricks (including surgery), thinking that being thinner would be the end to all my troubles. Spoiler alert: I was wrong.
After the procedure, because my stomach was physically smaller I wasn’t able to consume the volume that I had previously done. As a result, of course I lost weight and actually lost it very fast. This felt great and after the “honey moon phase” (1 – 2 years post surgery) I had lost 80lbs! But how naive was I to think that losing the weight would bring happiness… it didn’t. And because I was still mentally sick, continuing the same coping mechanisms and poor health habits, over time my small stomach pouch got bigger and bigger and bigger as if I never had the surgery at all. I regained nearly all of the weight I had lost! This felt like the ultimate failure!
I don’t talk about my weight loss surgery simply because it was not the answer for me. As a result, I don’t want to endorse it or put it on a pedestal. What I’ve learned is that there are no substitutions or shortcuts for hard work, and by that I’m talking about the work you put into yourself mentally, spiritually and physically. I didn’t achieve success in my life until my mind did! That’s why the surgery failed me. Surgery didn’t work because I DIDN’T WORK! Hear my story in the video above.